FOR INDIA!!!

     My team leaves for India in 3 days. We just found out tonight that our beloved team leader, Hannah, cannot come with us because of visa complications. I cant even put into words how hard it was to find that out and how hard it is on our team. She is the third member of our team to not come with us. The first two people were incredibly funny and strong teammates that I still hold dear to my hearts and now it is Hannah; an awe-inspiring woman of God that I have been so blessed to know.
     The events that happened tonight reminded me of my sophomore year of high school. I was apart of the worship team at my youth group and absolutely LOVED everything about my youth group. But my church was struggling, we had just lost a pastor and with that a lot of people. There was a lot of transition going on to say the least. The youth were falling into all different directions; some landed in other churches but most just fell away completely. It was heartbreaking. I knew what was going to happen next; God had been preparing my heart for it. One day, my pastor asked to speak with me before worship practice. He told me that God was calling him to another church and it was his time to leave. He told me that he saw that I was a leader and knew that it was my time to fight, to encourage, to hold fast. As he was speaking, God floored me with the realization of the fact that he was right. If I loved my youth group and my church as much as I said I did, then I would stay and fight for them. Our group went from 100-8 people on a Thursday night. But what happened? We pressed in, things got real, and we persevered. Our youth group grew a lot, but we never lost that core group. To this day, I am still so blessed from that group of friends and all that God taught us in those hard times.
    I see a similar thing happening here... There were so many time I was unsure and honestly just wanted to go home. I figured it would be easier at home then it would have been here. But as we met in that room, I knew what was going to happen. And God said again, you can leave Paige or you can stay and fight. I expected heartbreak and despair, but instead found peace. And a renewed sense of purpose and boldness. At this point, I KNOW that India will be amazing because we wouldn't have to fight so hard if it was going to be easy. India is worth it because that is where Gods heart is for us and that is where we are going to fight! Uniting with my team is worth it!The people we encounter there are worth it! Every child I get to hold and show love is worth it! My doubts and my fears don't even come close to comparing to Gods grace and Gods almighty power that is going to shake that country up. I know He is after their hearts and that He hears His children crying out for them. I know God is taking India back as His land and will break the darkness that has engulfed them. I am blessed enough to get to be a small bit of that. We have six weeks there and every moment of that is going to be for Him! Because God is worth it!
       Our team of 16 is now down to 13; we grieve for the loss of another teammate, but we will not be deterred. How amazing is our God? We expect despair and He brings hope! For the first time in a few weeks, I feel more like myself again. My feisty spirit has risen up again and I am not backing down. I just imagine some epic song will be playing in my head as we walk through that airport because we am going into battle! We am fighting for India in the Name of Jesus Christ!

This is my beautiful team from the very beginning of this journey (minus Hannah and Katrina, my leaders who aren't photographed). They are some of the strongest, funniest, talented, most God-fearing people I know. Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for unity and perseverance and never taking a day for granted!

Jesus LOVES me this I know

I have really enjoyed writing these blog posts! It has been such a fun way to not only reflect on, but share what God has been doing in my heart here. I am grateful and blessed to have such an awesome outlet. But I was recently convicted on vulnerability. I am so good at being vulnerable about the things that I want to be vulnerable about, but what about all the things I hate to bring up? Those are the areas of my heart God has been after the most, and He is relentless.
     His relentless love has brought me to this point of surrender; on my knees - at the foot of the cross. Because it is in the shadow of the cross that I find my freedom and it is in my Fathers arms where I find my comfort. There have been so many lies that have turned to chains that God has been gently tearing away from my heart. Lies that have been purposefully or accidentally spoken over me. Lies that I have spoken over myself.
      Over this DTS I have been searching for Gods truth on everything, especially how He views me. And the biggest thing I have come to learn is that He LOVES me. I do not say this lightly. God LOVES me. His thoughts for me out number the grains of sand on every shore of the ocean - WOW! His love is sufficient to cover all of my sins and once He forgives me (which He always does) He does not bring it back up again. And He sees my heart, which He formed and molded in my mothers womb to be what He wanted me to be. If that idea doesn't make you shout YAY GOD then I don't know what will!
      So He impressed it upon me, I am free! I am made whole! I am beautiful because the God of the heavens and the earth made me and He does NOT make anything that isn't beautiful. But now it is my choice to walk away from all of that. He has set my freedom before me and it is my choice to step into it. So many things I have been called in my life; sick, ugly, flirt, unworthy, liar, pointless... the list goes on and on but thats all it is a meaningless list I can choose to abide by or not. I am none of those things! I am a child of God!
       So now that I have had this glorious revelation, I still have to continue to choose to step into it every day. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I have chosen to do that every day without failing, but that would be a lie. On the days that I don't  I  fall back into the same old behavior, the same deception, and the chains. Which is absolutely ridiculous because what soldier would choose to walk back into the hands of his captives after his side won the victory?
      But God is good and He gives us what we need to break free. I don't have to be that same person who makes the same mistakes time and time again. And because He loves me, God gives me the second chance! He knows that I need to have that victory - the tangible memory that I stood up and chose freedom even in the face of all the lies! So He will continue to allow me to be tested; not because He is some cruel God in the sky who doesn't care about me, but because He is bragging about me! He looks at the devils pathetic attempts to drag me down and says "watch what my girl can do".  That is my King! My King is a proud Father who will die on a cross to protect his little girl.
      So after the lecture faze and right before outreach God is sending me out with the bold message of: I am His little girl. I choose freedom. I choose Him. YAY GOD!

Impact Summer

     The week of New Years was spent in Arlie Beach for Impact Summer! My school split up and half of us went to Byron Bay and the other half to the beautiful beach called Arlie. There we sent up a tent and served free chai tea! We had live music from the music students from my school and hung out playing checkers and talking. The week was really relaxed and our ministry consisted of a lot of intercession and evangelism to the back-packers we came in contact with.
     The environment there was not what I consider my cup of tea with bars open all night and drunk people everywhere you turn. But God was not intimidated :) The tea brought people to the tent, but the holy spirit is what radically changed their hearts. The people of Arlie were hungry for the truth of God and soaked up our words and asked many questions.
       I got the privilege of actually making a few friends while I was there. It was those same friends that I ended up at a gypsy tent on the beach. A wonderful woman then taught me how to twirl fire! Only with God would I have ended up on a beautiful beach, twirling fire and worshiping on New Years Eve!
       And only with God could I have gotten the opportunity to meet Tony. He was drunk out of his mind the first night we met, but so funny! My friends and I continued to hang out with him the rest of the week (where he stayed sober!). The second night our conversation went a little like this

Me: "Tony, I just want you to know that Jesus loves you"
Tony: "Of course He does, how could he not? Tell me about your god"

        Our conversation went on for a good 2 hours where we talked about heaven and hell and how great God is compared to what other religions believe as there god. He also allowed for me to pray for his shoulder. I know that it is healed! We wont know until he goes back to work but he promised that "if my shoulder is healed, I will believe in your god" so I may miss him, but I look forward to seeing Tony in heaven :)

        Tony is just one of the MANY testimonies people had that week about the conversations they were able to have! You could feel the ground shaking from the Lords presence.
        Some other opportunities we had consisted of snorkeling at the edge of the Great Barrier Reef and spending a glorious afternoon on the Whitehaven Islands (top 10 prettiest beach in the world!) What a fantastic new perspective on creation and the depths of Gods beauty. I was absolutely blown away! Two of my fellow YWAMers were baptized that week and to see God moving and using their acts of obedience to bring light and beauty into those places was extraordinary!
         After that week, I have a new passion and understanding of the heart of evangelism and how God can move through it. I am excited to take what I learned there and make it a part of every day life both here and back at home.